The Dead and the Dusk (The Nightmare Court Book 2) Read online

  Too many pieces, and he didn’t know where Nicce fit into it all. He couldn’t afford to want her, because he couldn’t afford to protect her.

  After all, wasn’t he about to bring her to the edge of death as soon as she had finished her dinner?

  She dined in the kitchen, away from him. When she came out to the sitting room, her chin was lifted and her shoulders were squared, and she looked as determined as she had in the fortress that first night. She was a force, Nicce. She was… gods take her, he couldn’t help but be affected by her.

  He swallowed. “Let’s do it in the morning.”

  “Let’s do it now,” she said. She was holding a knife in one hand. “Do you have something to catch the blood?”

  He nodded.

  And so, they did it.

  She cut herself and they both watched the blood come out, and he smelled it and thought of the way it had tasted again, and his clothes felt too tight, and his stomach twisted up in knots.

  She bled and bled, and when she seemed to be getting woozy, he said they should stop, and she said that they had to push through all the way. She lying down at this point, on one of the couches, her bleeding arm propped up on the bucket that was catching her blood, and her eyes were closed. Her voice was dreamy. “Maybe you should drink it. That would make it go faster.”

  “No.” His voice echoed off the ceiling.

  She laughed.

  And within a few minutes, she lost consciousness.

  He panicked.

  He waited a little longer, watching her bleed even more, and then he began to realize this wasn’t working. She was going to die, and it would be his fault. And she couldn’t die.

  Because he needed her. She was useful to him.

  That was the reason he cared.

  He bandaged her, tried to make her drink. She wouldn’t swallow. Her heart was beating too fast at her wrist, like a fluttering butterfly trapped under her skin. Her lips were a funny blue-ish color.

  He moved her closer to the fire.

  He managed to get water into her by stroking her throat and forcing her to swallow.

  He sat up over her, watching her, afraid she might stop breathing at any moment.

  Hours passed.

  She didn’t wake.

  The bandage at her wrist, it was soaked through with blood. She was still bleeding.

  He bandaged it again.

  He gave her more water.

  He paced, his hands sunk into his hair.

  He sat down next to her and pushed her hair away from her forehead. “Wake up,” he said to her. “Wake up.”

  She didn’t.

  When the sun came up and she wasn’t improved, he bit her, because he thought that maybe the venom he had could still change her. He couldn’t bear it if she died, even if changing her meant her blood never turned to sunlight.

  But the bite didn’t seem to make any difference, and the hours ticked by and the sun rose higher in the sky.

  He was horrified. This had gone horribly wrong.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Nicce woke up and her head was pounding. Her mouth was dry, and her lips were cracked. She tried to blink and her eyelids seemed stuck to her eyes. “Water,” she rasped.

  Eithan was there immediately, helping her sit up, pouring water into her mouth.

  She sputtered, coughing, trying to push him away, but she was too weak, and she sagged against his shoulder. She hadn’t known about this kind of pain. She thought she was strong, prepared for anything, after the way she’d been pushed and punished by the Guild, but this… this was bad.

  For several moments, she did nothing but concentrate on drinking. When she felt as if her throat was soothed, as if she could feel something besides being painfully parched, she paused, drawing in several rattling breaths. “It didn’t work, did it?” she managed.

  “No,” said Eithan. “I feared you would never wake, in fact.”

  “How long has it been?” She realized it was dark outside. “Did I sleep through an entire day?”

  “Yes,” he said.

  She moaned. “Why didn’t it work?” She tried again to sit up. She couldn’t. She was lying on this couch and Eithan was behind her. Her head and her shoulders were resting against his chest. His body was so cold and so firm. “Did you wait long enough? Was I on the brink of death? You probably stanched the bleeding too soon.”

  “I couldn’t stop your godstaken bleeding,” he said. “I was out of my mind. We’re… this was all a mistake.”

  She blinked. “What was?”

  “All of this. I’m waiting until you’re strong, and then I’m going back to the court. I’ll tell the other knights I couldn’t find you. Go away, far away, Nicce. Start over, and forget about all of this. I will find some other way to get away from Ciaska.”

  “What?” She did manage to sit up this time. She turned to look at him, furrowing her brow. For her trouble, she was seized by a fit of coughing.

  He gave her more water to drink.

  She sipped at it, panting, groaning. “You’re being unreasonable.”

  “I’m not,” he said. “Look at you. Look at what’s become of you.”

  “I’m fine. I’ll be fine.”

  “Perhaps. But we’re not bleeding you again.”

  She started to argue with him, but then she stopped. She wasn’t sure she wanted this to happen to her again. She had never felt so horrible. “What do you care?” she muttered. “You wanted to do it to me before.”

  “I never wanted it.” His voice was ice. “I was forced to do it. Believe me, I didn’t enjoy it.”

  “It seemed to me like you did, actually.” There was a knowing undercurrent to her voice.

  “I didn’t enjoy this,” he said. “Whatever is between us—”

  “I thought we weren’t going to talk about that.”

  “I can’t afford to care about you,” he said. “I have too many people to care about already, too many people relying on me. There is no way that I can protect you.”

  “I don’t need your protection. And I don’t need you to care.”

  “Well, I do care,” he snapped.

  She stiffened. Slowly, she pushed herself back into a sitting position, and she moved away from him, so that she was propped up against the back of the couch. She eased her feet onto the floor. This small amount of movement had exhausted her. She blinked at him. “Oh, you care?”

  He rubbed his forehead. “Watching you lie there like that nearly destroyed me.”

  “Did it really?” She wasn’t convinced.

  His jaw twitched. “I realize that I haven’t treated you well up until this point, but I have never felt about a woman the way I feel about you, and we need to be parted, as soon as it’s remotely possible.”

  She laughed, and it hurt her throat.

  He got up from the couch. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of this. I don’t know what possessed me to even try this. It was a positively stupid idea.”

  Painfully, she scooted up, sitting up a bit straighter. “We need to figure out how to make my blood change over, and then it’ll heal me.”

  “It obviously doesn’t work to nearly kill you,” he said.

  “You know, maybe you should drink my blood,” she said.

  “I…” He sucked in a breath.

  “What?”

  “I bit you,” he said softly. “Again.” He lurched forward and picked up her arm, showing her the marks of his fangs. “I thought… if you were dying, maybe it would… change you. I… the idea of your being dead, I couldn’t bear it.”

  She touched the bite marks. “Did it make any difference?”

  “Not that I could see, no,” he said. “And I don’t think that my drinking your blood is the answer, because it happened before when you were with Diakos, right? No one was drinking your blood then.”

  He was right. She slumped back down on the couch.

  “Are you hungry?” he said.

  She nodded. “Very.”


  “I’ll bring you something.” He was already striding across the room.

  “Don’t go to any trouble,” she called after him. “I wouldn’t want you to feel as if you had to care or anything.”

  He ignored her, stalking away from her, through the doorway.

  She groaned again, lying back down on the couch. Why did everything have to hurt this badly?

  * * *

  When he came back, she tried to speak to him about it while she ate. The food seemed to confer strength on her. “Listen, maybe bleeding me out isn’t the way to do this, after all. We’ll have to think of another way. I admit, this is a special kind of agony. We’ll try something that won’t be so dangerous or painful for me. But we can’t simply give up.”

  “There is only danger and pain for you in this idea of yours,” he said. He wouldn’t look at her. “You’ve got some inflated idea of yourself, Nicce. You can’t kill a goddess.”

  “Well, maybe not on my own, but if we work together.” She chewed on some dried meat.

  “No,” he said. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. We can’t work together, because that would mean that I would have to protect you, and I can’t.”

  “And I’m telling you that you don’t.”

  “Well, that doesn’t really matter,” he said. “Because I would sacrifice a lot for you. Too much. More than I should.”

  “Don’t sacrifice anything.”

  “Easily said,” he muttered. “But it’s not as if there are infinite choices when it comes down to the goddess. She limits things, and then I must choose. It always requires some kind of sacrifice.” He crossed the room to the window of the cabin, and he peered out into the darkness. “She’s the one in control.”

  “But you want control,” she said. “You want to kill Ciaska, and I do too, so we can’t give up at the first sign of a setback.”

  He didn’t say anything.

  She shoved more dried meat into her mouth and chewed. She was very hungry, and she couldn’t seem to get enough of the saltiness of the meat. It was positively delicious. She felt as if she could just lick salt right now.

  “I won’t have you be another casualty, another person I destroy to protect what little I have left. It wouldn’t mean anything to achieve freedom if it meant hurting you. I would never forgive myself.”

  “Look, I’ve been through a lot in my life. I’m pretty tough. You have no idea what I can take. You’re selling me short, and I don’t appreciate it.”

  “There’s something out there,” he said.

  She was jolted by the abrupt change of subject.

  He was squinting at the window.

  “What? An animal?”

  “No, there are lights,” he said. “Someone’s coming.” He turned back to her.

  She was struggling to try to stand up.

  He hurried over to her, and he stopped her movement. “No. Stay. The king wished to protect you before. It must be him coming. He won’t hurt you now. He can probably make sure you get better care than I can.”

  “You’re going to leave me here,” she realized.

  He searched her eyes with his own, but she didn’t know what he was looking for. He reached up and cupped her cheek with his cold fingers.

  Something inside her surged. She had a strange inclination to lean forward and kiss him.

  But he pulled away, his fingertips brushing over her jaw as he did, and he shook himself. “Goodbye, Nicce. I… I am sorry. You don’t know how sorry.”

  “Don’t leave me,” she said. “The king only protected me because he wanted to lie with me. He’s a very old, very perverse, very entitled man, and I’m in no shape to fight him off.”

  Eithan furrowed his brow, hesitating. Then he shook his head. “You look frightful. He won’t take advantage of you in this state.”

  She shook her head at him. “I thought you cared about me, and that you’d sacrifice things to keep me safe.”

  “Of the two evils, the king or Ciaska, she comes out rather far ahead,” said Eithan. “You’ll figure it out. You’re not helpless, as you keep reminding me.”

  Now, Nicce could see the lights coming through the windows. Whoever was out there was coming closer.

  Eithan grimaced. “I’m sorry,” he said again. And then he darted out of the living room and into the kitchen.

  She heard the back door opening and closing. She groaned, pushing herself to her feet. But once upright, she was dizzy, and she knew she wasn’t walking anywhere. She sat down heavily on the couch and waited.

  When the doors opened, it was servants, chattering amongst themselves. “…you see, there is a fire going!”

  “Well, that would make smoke come from the chimney, wouldn’t it?”

  They rushed around to find her sitting on the couch.

  She recognized some of their faces from when she had stayed at the castle, but she didn’t remember any names. She scolded herself for being so horrible, not taking the time to even learn the names of servants, but the truth was that she had been a bit distracted when she’d been staying at the castle before, and she wasn’t used to having servants anyway, because she’d done everything for herself at the Guild.

  One of the servants turned, addressing a young man whose arms were full of fire wood. “Go. Back to the castle. Tell the king that Nicce is here.”

  “Right away,” said the young man, bobbing his head and going for the door.

  “Leave the fire wood, dolt!” cried the servant.

  “Oh, yes,” said the young man, and he deposited it next to the fireplace. There was a rack for it. “Sorry about that.”

  The servant who’d given orders put her hands on her hips, looking Nicce over. “Well,” she said. “You look like you’ve been to the pit and back.”

  Nicce managed a weary smile. “Why, thank you.”

  * * *

  Nicce gathered that the king hadn’t planned to be coming to the cabin until the morning, but when he knew that Nicce was there, he came straightaway.

  The servants bustled around, making the place ready for him as quickly as they could, but they needed more time, and they were all concerned the king would be angry that it wasn’t up to his specifications.

  Nicce was taken up the stairs to a room, which was cold, even though the servants had started a fire in its fireplace. She huddled into a quilt and asked for more water and more dried meat. The servants promised to bring it, but they were too busy, and nothing arrived.

  Nothing, that is, except the king, who came into the room and fell to his knees next to her bed. He reached out and grasped one of her hands. He clutched at her fingers. “It is you,” he said.

  She didn’t know what to say. She wanted to pull her hand out of his, but he was stronger than she was, and she was even weaker than usual.

  “What has happened to you?” The king looked her over, horrified. He brushed her hair away from her face. “Have you been here all along?” Then he shook his head. “But no, I came here only a month or so ago, and you were not here. Have you been on the mountain all this time?”

  What did it matter what he thought? It had been almost four months since she’d escaped the castle, but she would have been capable of surviving on this mountain, she supposed. And she couldn’t very well tell him she had volunteered to have all her blood drained out. She wondered what Eithan had done with that bucket of blood from the night before.

  Maybe he drank it, she thought with an inward sneer.

  When she found Eithan Draig, he was going to pay for leaving her here with the king. She did not forgive him.

  “It gets cold,” she said in a weak voice. “I couldn’t bear the freezing nights any longer. I found the cabin. I remembered when you showed it to me…”

  “Of course, of course.” He patted her hand. “You poor thing. You are always welcome here. I will never turn you away. For your mother’s sake. You are all that is left of her, you know.”

  She tried a smile.

  “You rest,” he
said. “Stay warm. We must get up your strength.”

  “Thank you,” she said. Let go of my hand.

  He did let go, but he seemed a bit reluctant about it. “I must go and see if there’s anything that can be brought to you. Is there anything you’d like?”

  “Water?” she said. “I was eating some dried meat?”

  “Of course,” he said. He left the room.

  Soon enough, servants came with steaming hot tea and an entire meal consisting of cold roast chicken and bread and some kind of pudding. Nicce supposed the servants had brought this food up with them from the castle. She ate and then she was sleepy again, even though she’d been sleeping for the entire day already.

  Her room was warm now, a drowsy sort of comforting warmth, and she burrowed into her quilt and slept.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  It was days before she felt the least bit normal. She spent them eating and drinking and sleeping, with the king hovering over her.

  She wished the king didn’t look so much like Rhodes. It hurt her, especially since the king was being so concerned over her.

  He even wanted to assure her that he had no intention of renewing his amorous pursuit of her. “I have had my own dealings with Sir Eithan now, and I know what sort of a monster he is. I can’t imagine how you have suffered. I would never do anything to make your suffering worse. I ask nothing in return from you. Please, my brother once said to me that you might think that you must earn my protection, but it is never that way with us. Do you believe me?”

  She nodded. “Yes, of course.”

  “My sons all sleep in the same bed now. They have nightmares.” The king shook his head. “They watched their uncle die in front of their eyes, and if he hadn’t killed himself, Aitho only knows what that monster of a knight would have done to my little boys.”

  Ah, well, Eithan hadn’t told her the entire story, had he? Nicce remembered sharing dinner conversations with one of the small princes, and she felt disgust rising in her. Perhaps it was a good thing that Eithan had left her. Perhaps she was better to be free of him.

  “You’ve been through far too much in your young life,” said the king. “You will stay with us in the castle from now on. You will allow me to take care of you. I want you to have a positively luxurious life from now on. I will treat you as a daughter, and you will want for nothing. It’s what my brother would have wanted.”